Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Almost Wholly Acerbic Reflections

The following  will not to be allowed into heaven until they have spent at least 5000 years dealing with  their own mischief:

  • Anyone connected with the packaging industry, especially the hard plastic variety, whose work is designed for the benefit of the producers and sellers, not the consumer.
  • People who speed through parking lots as if they are on a super-highway.
  • Those responsible for the little sticker on every apple I buy at the supermarket.
  • Whoever designed the system that guarantees that when I back out in a parking lot, there will be a huge SUV on either side that effectively  blocks any sight of oncoming cars.
  • People who pass me  on an interstate highway at lightening speeds then immediately slow down precipitously  so that I am forced to brake to keep from bumping them into the next state (geographically or eschatologically).
  • Folks who leave their shopping carts right where they unload them, creating numerous hazards and inconveniences. 
  • Cheaters who park in places reserved for the handicapped with enough ready excuses that take more time to iterate than parking legally would.
  • Designers of car door lock systems that blow the horn right when I am walking past, scaring the heck out of me.
    You can easily add your own. But you get the picture.

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