CNN Breaking News
November 5, 2008
This is Bluf Witzer, along with the most conceited political team in television, bringing you the results of yesterday's extraordinary election. This special report is brought to you by HARD ON, HEAT UP--HARD ON HEAT UP -- good for both men and women. You know what it is for.
CNN can now confirm that Barack O'Hillary has been elected president of the United States. The victorious candidate has the most remarkable resume in the nation's history.
The president-elect has a white Christian mother from Kenya, a black Muslim father from Kansas, and grandparents who are Hindu, Buddhist, Jewish, and Agnostic. There is also Native American, Asian, Hispanic, Polynesian, and Australian aborigine blood in the ancestral line.
The President-to-be is an Omnitarian who believes everything that has ever been believed by anyone, anytime, anywhere and professes to have been born again fourteen times, each time into a different religion.
The winner in yesterday's election has White House experience, having been the spouse of a former president.
The newly elected soon to be resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue has been both a father and a mother and once was both.
The newly elected Vice-President, John Mary Smith, is of unknown parentage, has no resume, no religion, and is of indeterminate gender.
This special report has been brought to you by HARD ON, HEAT UP--HARD ON HEAT UP-- good for both men and women. You know what it is for.
November 5, 2008
This is Bluf Witzer, along with the most conceited political team in television, bringing you the results of yesterday's extraordinary election. This special report is brought to you by HARD ON, HEAT UP--HARD ON HEAT UP -- good for both men and women. You know what it is for.
CNN can now confirm that Barack O'Hillary has been elected president of the United States. The victorious candidate has the most remarkable resume in the nation's history.
The president-elect has a white Christian mother from Kenya, a black Muslim father from Kansas, and grandparents who are Hindu, Buddhist, Jewish, and Agnostic. There is also Native American, Asian, Hispanic, Polynesian, and Australian aborigine blood in the ancestral line.
The President-to-be is an Omnitarian who believes everything that has ever been believed by anyone, anytime, anywhere and professes to have been born again fourteen times, each time into a different religion.
The winner in yesterday's election has White House experience, having been the spouse of a former president.
The newly elected soon to be resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue has been both a father and a mother and once was both.
The newly elected Vice-President, John Mary Smith, is of unknown parentage, has no resume, no religion, and is of indeterminate gender.
This special report has been brought to you by HARD ON, HEAT UP--HARD ON HEAT UP-- good for both men and women. You know what it is for.
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